I respect kindness in human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don’t respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
Greets from the parents’ house where it’s brr fahrenheit
It’s a cycle. You start a story, and it’s stupid. You don’t have any ideas. You’re washed up. Finished. And then you get a sliver of an idea, but it’s kind of dumb. Ugh. Then you start working it, and it becomes, oh, maybe. Alright. Yeah, I am going to finish this story. I did finish it! It’s not terrible! [Then] you don’t have any ideas. Is that what life is? It’s just a series of enacting the cycle. Lately, it’s become kind of wonderful to say, ‘Yeah, so now I’m at the point where I don’t have any ideas. Is is a crisis? No, it’s not a crisis. You’ve been here before. And maybe even you could enjoy that moment when you’re bereft of ideas… The goal would be to keep enacting that [cycle], live to 190, and put the period on the best story ever.
So like inside yourself you’re you
But outside yourself they’re them
Not even people necessarily, all of them
Just a pile of unpredictable smelly not yous
You’re a pungent zoo animal too
You know that because senses, and sniffs
And you build a shell of language around your animal self and interact with other shells and speak other languages and pull in and push out and life is an abstraction of death and how at every moment we’re just a layer away from being forgotten and that is the fear that drives
And the things you think are wrong but you hang on
You wrap them in language and let them warp you
You pull in and push out and
So long as others are forgotten
And you last, you hold hands
We hold hands
comedy album titles
Funny I Should Say This
The incredibly talented and super smart Evan Rachel Wood called out the MPAA on their misogynistic, sexist crap after seeing the new cut of her movie and she ain’t wrong.
I love this. Everything about it.
I mean but why though would you ever want anyone to see an example of the way they should be treating their significant others / be being treated by their significant others? Men would have to face the fact that they’re probably not being very good boyfriends / husbands and women would feel like they deserve something they aren’t getting! No no no this will not fly, not in this America, where vaginas are gross and brains blowing out of heads is sexy.
Can we make this a big deal this time though? Because nothing changes until it’s a big deal.
On Penny Arcade, Exploitation, and the Myth of the Do-Everything Rock Star
A couple of my friends pointed out this absurd LinkedIn post from the gentleman behind the actual monetary success of the popular webcomic Penny Arcade, Robert Khoo. Here it is in full — http://www.linkedin.com/jobs2/view/9887522?trk=job_nov — but allow me to summarize:
"We want someone who can code well in multiple front-end and back-end languages, maintain servers and other hardware including load balancing and database admin, do general office IT, manage your own projects, deal with the fact that one of our co-founders is a rampaging trans-phobic asshole, and be on call 24/7 though we hope not to bug you too much in the middle of the night.”
For this you get zero equity, a pathetic 401K match, “periodic bonuses”, and a salary described like this:
you should know up front we’re not a terribly money-motivated group. We’re more likely to spend less money on salary and invest that on making your day-to-day life at work better.
Now let’s be clear, here: Robert Khoo has built an entire career by being money-oriented. It’s because of his business acumen that Holkins and Krahulik have an empire, not a little webcomic that maybe pays their bills. Spending less on salary so they can “invest” that in the day-to-day working life? That’s being money-motivated. They will save twenty grand or more per employee that they convince with that line, and spend maybe a quarter of that per employee on “fun” office stuff each year … and even that much would surprise me.
Oh, and don’t forget this little gem:
We’re terrible at work-life balance. Although work is pretty much your life, we do our absolute best to make sure that work is as awesome as possible so you at least enjoy each and every day here.
I think the thing that frustrates me the most about it is: they’ll probably get a thousand applicants. A bunch of 25 year-old kids with a ton of talent and stars in their eyes are going to try to get this crap job for crap pay so they can work somewhere “cool” and feel like a part of something big. The Penny Arcade “machine” (their term) will roll on, making its millions of dollars while somehow retaining the “little guy” image that hasn’t been accurate for at least five years, and probably more. That’s one of Khoo’s many gifts — he has figured out exactly how to sell this company, even if the image they’re peddling is a load of horseshit.
This is a company that runs three massive trade shows a year, sells an incredible amount of merchandise, commands extremely competitive advertising rates, publishes multiple comic properties each week, runs their own gaming magazine, does paid story and illustration work for their ad clients, produces multiple web video shows, employs several other cartoonists, and has put out three video games.
They’re not hurting for cash, and they could surely pay four people to do the “four jobs” that this posting says the applicant must be able to do. They just don’t want to. They don’t even want to pay one guy a competitive rate to do those four jobs, because why bother? When you have an army of fans dying to work for you, why pay a realistic wage to a realistic number of people?
Let’s touch also on the other problem with that job advertisement: it’s complete nonsense.
I’m a “unicorn" … a designer who can code, and is actually good at both (and has been paid for both). In fact these days I’m more a coder who can design, but either way, the term "unicorn" makes it pretty evident that this is a rare thing. Some people hate the term, and that’s fine, it’s just here for reference. Anyway, you know what’s even more rare? A guy who can write excellent code in several disparate languages, manage multiple different server installs, administrate databases, and configure office firewalls. All while being motivated to do "tedious" work and manage his own projects while not caring about his work/life balance and being solely focused on the job.
That’s not a unicorn, it’s something more like a deity, and it doesn’t actually exist. There is no one out there who can realistically meet that job description. What they will get instead is a jack of all trades who has mastered very few or none of them, and who will have to scramble like crazy just to meet the base requirements of the job, let alone excel at them. You know why? Because as they readily admit, it’s a job that should require four people. You get what you pay for, guys.
I have met the original two Penny Arcade guys in real life. I worked with Mike Krahulik during his time at GameSpy, exchanged emails with him, went to Christmas parties with him. I’ve been to their trade shows, given thousands of dollars to their charity, and read every single one of their comics since the very first one, published in Loonygames, a publication for which I also wrote. Hell, I’ve been drawn by Krahulik multiple times (here and here among them). I do not “hate” Penny Arcade, or wish them ill.
But I’m offended by this job post and I sincerely hope people will avoid responding to it. You don’t want that job. There is no upside to taking it. You’ll be worked like a dog and paid like shit while you’re doing it, while Khoo, Krahulik, and Holkins continue cashing their trade show checks.
Robert Khoo is a brilliant businessman, and such businessmen excel by finding the sucker and exploiting him or her.
Don’t be that sucker.
If you’re that sucker, work there for a year then write a book about it.
But don’t be.
I’ll just leave this here. (Click the photo to watch the video)
your childhood is not even in your memories now
a moment floated by
one you wanted to keep
maybe you thought
"I’ll remember this" but you didn’t
you couldn’t, it’s gone
not sure if it’s time that takes it
or lack of consideration -
can’t rule out drugs
your childhood is not
even in your memories now
how can that be if
every self you sell comes from there
why can’t you remember
the cornfield, the crick
the cricket bucket?
ice skating between farms
wolf spider discovering
your sister in a castle
your dog a dragon
why won’t it come
My sister (an awesome artist / performance artist) responds to an offer to travel to perform (without compensation or any expenses paid): it is FUCKING AMAZING.
I got a super awesome offer to travel to perform! but the place inviting me “is a non-profit so we cannot cover expenses.” How I am dealing with this shit:
"Thank you for your interest in my work, and for reaching out to me about this opportunity! Your space looks great, and it looks like you have really great programming. I would love to perform at your space.
I understand that arts organizations are strapped for cash, but I also know that within any budget (even in non-profits) there is some degree of choice in allocating funds. It concerns me when artists, publications and organizations make the choice to not budget for art labor, creative content or artworks. I pay the musicians and artists I work with, and am convinced that doing so will not only lead to making my own career financially sustainable, but will help in sustaining the arts community (economy!) that I am a part of. I do not ask artists to contribute their time to me if I can’t compensate them, just like I do not expect spaces to let me rehearse or use studio space for free. If I can make these decisions as an artist with an extremely low income, I know that arts organizations and publications can as well - especially when 501c3’s have FAR greater access to funding sources than individual artists do. The work you mentioned is work I have been paid to perform at several venues, and in instances where that was not possible, I was given a stipend to cover expenses. I am sorry that your organization does not budget to pay artists, but I cannot assume the financial burden of traveling to present my work.”
Okay so this web application looks through all the stuff you’ve ever posted on Facebook and then generates fake statuses from them.
THESE ARE TRUE-LARIOUS.
Also you should do it too - here: http://what-would-i-say.com/
What would you say?