After holding back on joining Hulu, ABCsigned a deal with Veoh to make full episodes of prime time shows available on veoh.com… Users who discover a show on Veoh will actually pull up ABC’s own player to watch the video with pre-sold ads.
Dipshit old media move, ABC. Way to think that through. Instead of using an extrememly popular, successful, proven service to distribute your content online, you opt to go with a relatively unpopular video service to link to the content that you’re already failing to showcase on your website.
How well do you think that strategy works out for the shows that link out of Hulu (see Psych, or older episodes of TBS shows, for examples) do? They fucking don’t. Networks have had video players in their own websites for years. Nobody used them because they were poorly executed. Linking to your pre-existing bullshit player is not going to do a damn thing for online viewership of Ugly Betty.
ABC, pull your head out of your proprietary ass and get with the times. This is a halfhearted move, and you’re not going to have anything to show for it.
Except the ABC player is actually pretty good. Great quality.
A few years ago I made up a word. Griblem: Anything found between the pages of a library book that relays information about the life of the person as it was when they were reading that book. This does not include writings found on pages - the griblem must be removable.
Example: I found an air ticket stub of someone going from Chicago to Seattle in a book about quantum physics.
“Hello, this is the police, isn’t it? The police? 911? Yes, it’s an emergency. I’m trapped inside of a room. Yes, there’s a door, but I can’t get through it. I’m not sure what’s going on but when I walk toward it I just kind of run into it and it doesn’t open. No there’s no knob! What the hell is a knob?! Oh God I’m going to die in here aren’t I? I CAN’T TURN IT, DON’T YOU SEE WHEN I TRY TO WALK AT THE DOOR IT DOESN’T OPEN!”—Or something like this.
“Get used to it, buddy. You’re in the art show business now.”—A kid, to my father, when there was no way past the kid’s dad’s van and he requested the van be moved. Does what I just wrote even make sense?
“Thanks, I guess, Tigers. For making it so this year I don’t have to wait until the week before the playoffs to be completely let down once again. Thanks for letting me belay hope and give in to despair. It would have been fun, I guess, to watch you win…but who really needs fun, anyway?”—I guess I don’t.
Holwerda How-To: Steal Internet from Your 3.5 Star Hotel
Have you heard of this thing? Wayport?
Yeah? Well, what it is is this: The hotel offers free internet in the lobby, but to get that same WIFI that you get FREE downstairs, you have to pay these guys ten bucks a night to get IN YOUR ROOM.
TEN BUCKS A NIGHT for something that, with the purchase of a suite, SHOULD BE FREE ANYWAY.
This got me thinking hard about that Net Neutrality thing. This company was trying to wrangle my internet connection, giving me access to their wireless but not to the outside world.
And so, defeated and befuddled, I found myself going downstairs to get my internet. The first night I did so was fine, but it wasn’t the same. I couldn’t browse, I couldn’t languish there like I wanted to, not with the eyes of the management on me. Doesn’t this kid have anything better to do?, I imagined them saying to themselves. And so I checked my e-mail and made my way back upstairs.
The next day I went back down, only now, something was different. Instead of free, the Wayport thing was telling me now that I had to pay. IN THE LOBBY. This is when I really started getting pissed, because I had this paranoid notion that the management had switched the service JUST TO SPITE ME.
So I went up to the manager and said, “Hey, how come there was free internet in here last night, and now it’s telling me I have to pay?”
She said I shouldn’t, and I said I know I shouldn’t. She told me to restart and try again, and I said I did.
Then she looked at me sideways and furrowed her brow, as if she had no other choice to do what she was about to do next.
She wrote down a code on a sticky note and gave it to me. “Here,” she said. “Go under coupons, and enter this. It should let you get on.”
I took it, and secretly smiled, because I knew this coupon was a ticket to ride, whether I was in the lobby or not.
And, sure as I’m sitting here, in my seventh floor suite, I’m getting for free what the hotel thinks I should be paying ten bucks a night for.
Even though I should be getting it for free anyway. So. Screw ‘em.
“I’m having my phone calls forwarded to your desk. Take all my messages down and just tell them I’m in a meeting. Also, if you get a moment, could you clean the microwave and change the jug on the water cooler? I’d have Kathy do it but she’s making a PowerPoint about how useful to the company she is.”—Part of a something I’m writing for a book.