Seriously.
I don’t know if it was God or me who decided my life was going to suck, that my friends were all going to treat me like I’m just there for them to spit on, or if girls would continually try to tell me they’d sprained their ankles when I asked them to get up and dance. Listen, girls. You don’t have to be threatened. I’m probably not even attracted to you, I just felt bad that you were sitting there all alone while your friend made out with one of the boys I came with. I just wanted to make you feel wanted. And you snub me. Woo. I know I’m short, that I have glasses, that you probably would rather rub your genitals on a rusty pole than speak to me, but come on. At least I tried to be polite.
Seriously, your ankle is sprained? I watched you walk all the way to the party. Skip, even.
Jesus.
Remind me not to write angry blog posts when I’m under the influence.
My name is Adam Holwerda. 